DEAR DEIDRE: READING that some strange woman thought my husband was “proper dirty” and “sex on a stick” gave me the shock of my life.

I only borrowed his phone because I couldn’t find mine, in order to make a doctor’s appointment as I thought I was coming down with an ear and throat infection.

When I confronted him about the messages he denied he was cheating and said they were texts from a mate messing about.

I knew he was lying and we ended up having an almighty row.

We argued so much that the neighbours came round to check if everything was OK.

After I had reassured them, they left and then my husband finally confessed.

I am 27 and my husband is 28. We have been married for two years — happily, or so I thought.

I managed to get an emergency appointment with the doctor but when I returned my husband was packing a bag. He said he was going to his mum’s to cool down.

After he left I went upstairs and noticed blood on the bathroom floor.

I couldn’t work out where it had come from so I rang my husband.

He became upset and said he’d cut himself after our row. I was so shocked to hear this.

I never imagined he would do such a thing.

I begged him to come home but he said it was too early and he needed to think.

He has been gone a week and now I can’t decide whether it is worth fighting for our marriage.

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DEIDRE SAYS: People do cheat, even on partners they love deeply, for a variety of reasons.

However, you should only take your husband back if he makes a real effort to show you that he loves you and is going to be the mature partner you need and deserve.

If he is willing to make the effort, my support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? can help.

Self-harm is a way of managing the pain your husband is feeling.

Such an action can be a relief at the time, but your husband needs help to deal with difficult feelings in a less damaging way.

My support pack, Understanding Self-harm, explains more about this and where he can go to get the help he needs to address this problem.