OLIVIA Bowen has broken down in a heartbreaking clip as she expressed fears she caused the loss of her baby.
The 31-year-old and her husband of six years, Alex, 33 – who met on series two of Love Island back in 2016 – had been thrilled to find out they were expecting twins just before Christmas.
Despite having twins in her family, Olivia never considered she would end up carrying them herself and was left in total surprise by the news, having only ever wanted two children.
But her and Alex’s overwhelming joy soon turned to sadness when they discovered they had lost one of the babies at only eight weeks.
Now, in an incredibly emotional interview on Kelsey Parker and Georgia Jones’ Mum’s the Word! podcast, Olivia bravely opened up to Kelsey, who lost her husband Tom Parker back in March 2022, on the loss of one of her twins mid-pregnancy.
As she held back tears, Olivia, who experienced vanishing twin syndrome, candidly admitted to Kelsey: “I felt like I didn't want twins.
“I felt like I wasn't gonna handle it and I didn't feel like I was enough to handle it or have it.
“I feel like it was taken from me because I wasn't ready for it and I wasn't the person to do it.”
Whilst Danny Jones' wife Georgia missed the podcast appearance after the drunken Brits kiss' with Maura Higgins, Olivia's voice cracked and her eyes welled up, as she continued: “And I feel like I caused it to myself because I told myself I couldn't do it.
“We went to this scan, and one didn't have a heartbeat.
“You could see it was so tiny compared to the other one.”
Whilst studies suggest vanishing twin syndrome happens in around 36% of twin pregnancies, holding back tears, the reality TV star confessed: “She's there telling me that we've got this healthy little baby that's thriving and then she's like, ‘this one's dead, you've got one baby that isn't alive’.”
Understandably distraught, the mum-of-one, who recently got candid on struggling postnatally after having her first child Abel and is now expecting a baby girl, recognised: “I don't even know how you're meant to fathom that. Am I meant to be happy? Am I meant to be sad?
“I feel so guilty. I said I couldn't do it, so now is that why we've not got it?”
I feel like it was taken from me because I wasn't ready for it and I wasn't the person to do it
Olivia Bowen
Doubting herself, the blonde beauty, who spoke movingly about the physical ordeal she experienced, then questioned: “Did I walk too much? Did I drink too much water? Did I not want it enough?
“All these sudden questions just literally came down like pouring rain.”
VANISHING twin syndrome is a type of miscarriage that affects twin, triplet and multiple pregnancies.
It occurs in the early stages, when one of the foetuses stops developing and is absorbed by the mother's body, or the surviving twin(s).
Because it happens so early on - typically within the first 12 weeks of gestation - many women don't realise they are carrying more than one baby.
Symptoms can be very subtle, or non-existent, but can include: cramping, bleeding and pelvic pain.
It is usually detected through routine ultrasound examinations.
The exact cause is unknown. But vanishing twin syndrome is thought to affect around 30 per cent of twin or multiple pregnancies.
Women over the age of 30 are more likely to experience it, and experts say IVF has led to an increase in multiple pregnancies, and consequently, instances of vanishing twin syndrome.
If a twin is lost, the surviving foetus or foetuses typically continue to develop normally.
Source: London Pregnancy Clinic
The clip, which was shared on the @ official TikTok and Instagram accounts, has clearly left many open-mouthed, as it has quickly racked up one million views and over 8,300 likes in just one day.
Olivia’s fans eagerly rushed to the comments, desperate to share messages of love and support for the pregnant mother.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this
Instagram user
One person said: “It's not your fault, be kind to yourself.”
Another added: “Thank you again for talking about your twins and your experiences. It’s so important to share as so many people will be relating to what you are saying. Take care.”
A third commented: “Aww this is so sad, it wasn’t your fault or anything you did! Please don’t blame yourself.”
Whilst someone else chimed in: “Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this.”
Not only this, but Olivia also shared all on her baby loss with Fabulous, claiming she was left blindsided by devastating news.
Olivia exclusively told Fabulous: “I just didn’t believe it. I sat there thinking: ‘No, it’s going to come back.’ And what made me more upset was seeing Alex’s face, because he had been so positive.”
Whilst she had initially found the news that they were having twins a shock, she highlighted: “I had struggled and had such mixed feelings. I felt lucky and happy but I was scared and anxious.
“I worried about the effect it would have on our family and I knew it was going to change my relationship with Alex.
“But he was so supportive and positive that we could cope with three kids.
You’re mourning losing one baby and you’re so upset, but also happy because you still have one
Olivia Bowen
“He told me: ‘We’re the kind of people that if something gets dealt to us, we’ll deal with it. We are prepared for this.’
“So, then to go from that to: ‘No, that’s not happening any more,’ was so incredibly hard. Alex was so quiet and more crushed than me. I was just numb.”
Opening up on dealing with grief, she recognised: “You’re mourning losing one baby and you’re so upset, but also happy because you still have one.
“I have scans every two weeks, as what happened can cause infections and I am so scared every time.
“I want to constantly check if the other baby is still there, so when I see it on the screen I am filled with joy.
“I have spoken to charities, too – like Tommys, Sands and Footprints – and I urge anyone going through this to seek them out.
“I’d love to fund-raise and help them to honour this baby going forward.”
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