Stacey Solomon: Zachary slept in my bed until he was TEN… but I loved it and I never wanted him to be alone
Fabulous columnist Stacey Solomon suffered anxiety about going to bed as a child. It was so severe that she'd cry herself to sleep and panic that she wouldn't wake up
ZACHARY turned 10 this year and has only just started sleeping in his own bed. I’m not embarrassed by that, and neither is he.
I was sad at the thought of my baby growing up and wanting his independence, but I supported it and made the transition as smooth as possible. I didn’t think he’d ever want to leave the comfort of mummy’s bed.
My dad and my sister always made comments like “it’s not healthy” and “you’re making a rod for your own back, they’ll never leave”, but, luckily, it was my decision.
I have many reasons for letting Zachary and Leighton crawl into bed with me every night.
At this point, I have to make clear, I’m not talking about sleeping with a baby. I would be too worried, and having my boys next to me in the Moses basket was all I needed at that stage.
As a single mum, I think I had a more overprotective attitude towards Zachary.
I didn’t want him ever to be alone, especially not in the darkness of night. In all honesty my circumstances didn’t allow us to sleep in separate rooms.
For the first few years of Zachary’s life we lived at my mum’s house, a two-up two-down in Dagenham. He had to sleep with me.
I adore having a night-time cuddle with my boys. Both of which I’m sure will eventually be too embarrassed to stand next to me, let alone snuggle in bed.
Why would I want to give up the cuddliest time in their lives? I feel children are forced to become independent and grow up too quickly.
Anything I can do to slow that process is a bonus.
Also, let’s be fair, children sleeping alone is a relatively new concept. I can’t imagine cave people building an extra dorm for their young to sleep in.
Surely they would have all slept together? So, where has this sleeping apart even come from?
Bed time was an extremely stressful time for me growing up. I remember being about six or seven and begging my parents to sit and read me a thousand stories - anything so that I didn’t have to sleep alone.
My dad believes it’s important to get your kids used to sleeping in their own bed.
He never gave into my begging, and my mum followed suit. I understand the premise behind this method, but I can’t say it benefited me much.
I would get really anxious an hour or two before bed. I’d pretend I didn’t feel well or had homework to do. Nothing worked.
I spent most nights at the top of the hallway in hysterical tears begging for somebody to sit with me. I was scared of falling asleep and not waking up.
Eventually I’d cry myself to sleep. My mum would come in and comfort me, getting me to count sheep or imagine my favourite places.
My step mum Karen was my saving grace. She would sit next to my bed for hours reassuring me that everything was OK and that I would wake up in the morning.
She even gave me back tickles, which was a sure winner to send me off to sleep!
I don’t know why I was so afraid of sleeping. I don’t remember anything even mildly traumatic ever happening and I was constantly shown love throughout my childhood.
It just seemed an inherent part of my personality, something I couldn’t shift.
I don’t feel it made me a stronger or better person being left alone to cry myself to sleep every night.
I remember vividly wishing and hoping to meet someone and get married because then I’d no longer have to sleep alone.
People ask how my relationship with Joe functions when the kids are in my bed, but it’s simple: if I want a child-free bed I just pick them up when they’re asleep and put them in their own room.
Before I met Joe the boys were allowed to sleep with me so I think it would have made them feel pushed out if I’d have just stopped.
We worked around it. Joe has always been really supportive and understanding, to be honest it wouldn’t have worked out if he hadn’t been.
Sometimes we have to be conscious they might wake up in the middle of the night and come in but neither of us is awake or able to function at 3am so it’s OK.
I thought Leighton may follow Zachary and want his own bed so I’ve bought a bunk bed and put it in their room. I let them know my bedroom door is open if they need me.
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
Where is the safest place for a baby to sleep?
The Lullaby Trust said around half of parents are unsure of basic steps they can take to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
They recommend that babies should be put to sleep on their backs in a cot that is free of bumpers, toys and pillows.
Francine Bates, chief executive of the charity, said: “Twenty-five years after the Back to Sleep campaign, the survey results have shown us we need to go back to basics.”
The Department of Health also states that until a baby is six-months-old, it’s advisable to put them to sleep in a cot in the same room as his or her parents.
Baby boxes have also become an innovative new health trend.
It’s believed that the pioneering design reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome, as it prevents tots from rolling onto their tummies.
Zachary hasn’t looked back. He was more than ready and had no trouble sleeping in his own bed.
Leighton loves to fall asleep in the bunk bed like his older brother but, at around 3am, almost every morning, he gets up for a toilet break and sneaks in with me.
All of the above is great and fine by me, as long as they’re happy, I’m in! But you have to do YOU. Parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all and even with the best intentions we can get it “wrong”.
My dad has raised seven children, all with the same method, and we all turned out just fine. Only one of them - me - had a problem with the sleeping arrangements.
I just want to have cuddles in bed with my babies for as long as they can stomach being within a close proximity of their crazy mummy.
I am really glad they’ll both happily go off to bed together alone and settle without any fear or anxiety.
Although I do miss the crowded, sweaty, leg kicks in the face and waking up with a child sprawled across my neck, way more than I’d anticipated!
Meanwhile, Stacey has previously revealed that she's addicted to Fornite.
And, hit back at claims absent fathers are to blame for Britain's knife crime epidemic.
