Hilarious Amazon reviews left by customers on the site are guaranteed to have you in stitches
Funny comments range from complaints that film The Wolf of Wall Street featured no wolves to praise for a banana slicer that saved a marriage
AMAZON reviews often provide us with useful feedback on products we're thinking about buying.
But these hilarious customer posts show they can also offer up endless amusement.
From complaints the film Wolf of Wall Street fails to feature any wolves, to praise from a jilted husband for a remote-controlled thermostat, these comments will have you in stitches.
Here are a selection of the very best from the online shopping website.
This penguin mask was praised by a customer called 'Sir Chubs', who wears it to "sing lullabies" to his children.
Thing is, rather than soothing them to sleep, it terrifies them.
Sir Chubs wrote: "Whenever they protest about their bed time, or ask for too many sweets, I whip on the mask, and they soon know who is the King Penguin."
One product that received a "negative" review was a waterproof Kindle case - because it worked TOO WELL.
Customer Ben Harrison awarded it five stars, writing: "Got this for the mother-in-law for bath time, hoping it'd be crap, her kindle would slip out and electrocute her.
"So far, this bloody thing is staying in one piece. Great for waterproof kindling, c**p for murder."
Another complaint stemmed from a children's book called Where is Baby's Belly Button.
A customer going by the username PacMan wrote: "DO NOT buy this book, you can SEE the ending right on the cover!"
He added: "The book is completely misleading. The entire plot revolves around finding Baby's bell button; the title makes this much clear from the beginning.
"However, there is no mystery. There is no twist.
"Baby's belly button is right where it's supposed to be, on Baby's stomach. Right where it clearly SHOWS you it is on the COVER OF THE BOOK."
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Another book which received an Amazon customer review was the Holy Bible: King James Version.
User W.Christian wrote: "For those of you who don't know, this is God's second novel after the Old Testament.
"It's a marked improvement, in my opinion. That said, there is still vast room for improvement."
One product to be awarded a glowing review was a banana slicer, which was praised for saving a marriage.
Mrs Toledo wrote: "This is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices.
"It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do!
"Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we've even incorporated it into our lovemaking."
A seaweed extract dietary supplement was praised by one Amazon user for curing their cat of "the autism" and banishing "house ghosts".
Meanwhile a UFO detector was awarded just one star as the user complained: "It doesn't work and I am still getting abducted by UFOs on a regular basis."
One user told how he used a bottle of glitter to stop his roommate bringing home random men from off the street, while another left a barbed note of praise for a pair of "feminine" Bic pens which enabled her to "vent thoughts about new recipe ideas, sewing and gardening".
She added: "My husband is less pleased with this product as he believes it will lead to more independence and he hates the feminine tingling sensation (along with the visions of fairies and rainbows) he gets whenever he picks it up."
Perhaps the best review of all came from a jilted husband from Ohio who revealed he had been using a remote-controlled thermostat to wreak vengeance on his cheating ex-wife.
He told how he would set the house to uncomfortably low temperatures for when the new "lovebirds" woke up in winter and crank up the heat every time they went away to send their power bills soaring.
He wrote: "Since this past Ohio winter has been so cold I’ve been messing with the temp while the new love birds are sleeping.
"Doesn’t everyone want to wake up at 7 AM to a 40 degree (four degrees Celsius) house?
"When they are away on their weekend getaways, I crank the heat up to 80 degrees (26 degrees Celsius) and back down to 40 before they arrive home. I can only imagine what their electricity bills might be."
Other Amazon users called him a "genius" while one commented: "Revenge is best served at whatever temperature you see fit."
The full review for the remote control thermostat, by The General
'SHE TOOK THE HOUSE, THE DOG AND THE 401K. BUT I STILL CONTROL THE THERMOSTAT'
My former wife loves to take expensive vacations. We live in Ohio, which doesn’t exactly have extravagant places to see unless you like to watch grass growing or interstate construction. While we make OK money, I’m convinced she felt the need to single handedly improve the US economy by taking elaborate vacations: Broadway shows in New York City, gambling in Las Vegas, Spa’s in Arizona, sightseeing in San Francisco. The airlines know me so well they ask about my dog when I call to make reservations. His name is Fred.
In my attempt to try and save whatever I could so the princess could have her nice things I bought this Honeywell Wi-Fi enabled device so I could adjust the HVAC while we were away piling up massive amounts of debt on Mickey Mouse watches. I thought we could save a few bucks by keeping the temp cool in the winter and warm in the summer. The device was easy to install. I did not have the “blue” connector so I had to re-purpose the green one - this required an adjustment to the actual HVAC unit in our home. There are plenty of videos on Youtube to demonstrate how to do this. Within an hour I was up and running.
The device works flawlessly. You can adjust the temp from anywhere you have a Wi-Fi or cellular signal. Little did I know that my ex had found someone that had a bit more money than I did and decided to make other travel plans. Those plans included her no longer being my wife and finding a new travel partner (Carl, a banker). She took the house, the dog and a good chunk of my 401k, but didn’t mess with the wireless access point or the Wi-Fi enabled Honeywell thermostat.
Since this past Ohio winter has been so cold I’ve been messing with the temp while the new love birds are sleeping. Doesn’t everyone want to wake up at 7 AM to a 40 degree house? When they are away on their weekend getaways, I crank the heat up to 80 degrees and back down to 40 before they arrive home. I can only imagine what their electricity bills might be. It makes me smile. I know this won’t last forever, but I can’t help but smile every time I log in and see that it still works. I also can’t wait for warmer weather when I can crank the heat up to 80 degrees while the love birds are sleeping. After all, who doesn’t want to wake up to an 80 degree home in the middle of June?
