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CHRISTMAS CRACKER

Jeremy Corbyn, Brexit and David Cameron jokes top list of funniest Christmas cracker corkers of the year

FAMILIES trying to get into the Christmas spirit without getting into a family feud over politics should tear open a new set of crackers chock full of jokes at politicians expense.

Brits all over the UK submitted their best political wisecracks to be included in the top 10 funniest - Jeremy Corbyn, Trump and Brexit were all amongst the cracker favourites.

 The wining joke took aim at Donald Trump's trade war with China
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The wining joke took aim at Donald Trump's trade war with ChinaCredit: AFP or licensors

US President Donald Trump's ongoing trade war with China topped the list of favourite quips:

Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate?

He doesn't get on with china. 

Gags were posted on twitter in the competition run by TV Channel Gold. shortlisted by six judges and then voted by 2000 anonymous people, who all seemed to love to laugh at David Cameron:

What's the difference between Rudolph's nose and David Cameron's autobiography?

Only one will be red at Christmas. 

 Brits wrote Christmas gags about David Cameron's book
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Brits wrote Christmas gags about David Cameron's bookCredit: PA:Press Association

Other crackers tore into Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's :

Why doesn't Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.

Coleen Rooney's detective skills which lead her to be dubbed Wagatha Christie after she spied Rebekah Vardy leaking stories from her Instagram was also a big hit amongst voters:

What is Coleen Rooney's favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who.

Brits exhausted by the ongoing Brexit delay turned to humour to make sense of it:

Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels. 

The author of the of winning Donald Trump joke, Matt King, is a secondary school teacher from Wokingham, who won £1500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Christmas crackers.

Top 10 according TV Channel Gold

  1. Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn’t get on with china.
  2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.
  3. Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.
  4. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.
  5. What is Coleen Rooney's favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who.
  6. Why doesn't Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.
  7. Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas? Because she's a swede dish campaigner.
  8. What's the difference between Rudolph's nose and David Cameron's autobiography? Only one will be red at Christmas.
  9. What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt.
  10. What is Olivia Colman's favourite part of a turkey? The Crown.
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