As the Euros kick off we present out guide to fantasy football, and the best action on and off the pitch
Find out who's best to borrow a tenner off, who can't keep his hair on and which nation's boss bizarrely flips out
FOR footie fans the waiting is finally over, with Euro 2016 kicking off tonight.
But for those who would vote for a Brexit now if it meant avoiding the month-long tournament, help is at hand.
Here we provide an alternative guide to the best action coming up on and off the pitch in France this summer — from Game of Thrones-style goddesses to real-life back-from-the-dead Welsh Dragons.
Discover who’s best to borrow a tenner off — and who’s most likely to lend you a kidney. Find out which manager literally can’t keep his hair on, and which nation’s boss flips out over flip flops.
And if you prefer lookers to Linekers, we’ll tell you which pundits, players and presenters are unmissable viewing.
So forget about 4-4-2 and whether Rooney fits in Roy’s hole, everything you really need to know is right here.
The ice queen
IT’S fire and ice for Gylfi Sigurdsson, with his ex-Miss Iceland missus Alexandra Helga Ivarsdottir a ringer for Thrones’ Emilia Clarke.
The bad boys
On me, red son
SPAIN’S defender Sergio Ramos may be worth a bet for an early bath — he’s been sent off a record 21 times.
Tattoo are ya?
HEAVILY tattooed Belgium midfielder Radja Nainggolan was mistaken for a terrorist in Antwerp last year.
Signed for Barnet?
HERE’S a heads-up on France midfielder Paul Pogba who has “Pogboom” shaved on to his bonce.
Playing away
FRANCE’S Manchester United striker Anthony Martial bedded Miss Great Britain finalist Emily Wademan despite dating Samantha.
Russian to the toilet
ENGLAND better not make a mess of things when facing Russian winger Oleg Shatov tomorrow night.
The good boys
No dragon his feet...
A MONTH ago, Wales’ Joe Ledley broke his leg but has made an amazing recovery and is expected to feature.
Cristiano Ronaldough
PORTUGAL’S Cristiano Ronaldo tops the Forbes highest-paid athletes list with an estimated £60.4m last year.
One to keeper
SPAIN goalkeeper Iker Casillas is the most capped player in European history with 167 but is no longer first choice.
Giroud la la!
FRENCH striker Olivier Giroud is a Boss aftershave model, was on the cover of Men’s Health mag and has peeled off for a nude calendar.
Mistake and kidneys
POLAND’S Slawomir Peszko has duplex kidneys, so has four, a condition that affects one in 5.5 million.
Most up top
EX-Sun Page 3 girl Sam Cooke, 30, is dating England’s Chris Smalling. She has A-levels in physics, biology, chemistry and psychology.
Cup winner
PLAYBOY Bunny Carla Howe, 25, paraded her sizeable cups as she left a nightspot with Three Lions defender Nathaniel Clyne in December.
Beauty and Beast
SLOVAKIA skipper Martin Skrtel might be mistaken for Barbora Lovasova’s bodyguard rather than her husband. His side face Wales tomorrow.
To have and to old
LEBANESE-born Daniella Semaan could be in Wag retirement at the age of 41.
Instead she is dating Spanish midfielder Cesc Fabregas, 29.
The pundits
FANS in Italy won’t be nipping to the loo during the talky bits with Ilaria D’Amico anchoring their telly coverage.
And the 42-year-old has an extra reason to back her national team — her other half is goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon, 38.
Back home, ITV are putting cliche king Andy Townsend on our screens. But they will try to balance it up with West Ham boss and rock band guitarist Slaven Bilic.
The teams
SPAIN’S main tactic appears to be putting off rivals with their ghastly away strip.
The putrid white, yellow and red kit makes their players look like they have drunk too much sangria and vomited over themselves.
The official mascot for Euro 2016 is a caped cartoon lad with the name Super Victor. So far, so dull.
But for England fans the real prize is catching a glimpse of defender Chris Smalling’s cuddly lion mascot.
The 6ft 4in Manchester United ace has been seen carrying the adorable stuffed toy around the England camp.
That’s sure to strike fear into the hearts of opposition strikers.
The managers
ITALY boss Antonio Conte has a fine head of hair — but only due to a transplant after he went bald.
The 46-year-old will be looking to be the Euro 2016’s mane man before taking over at Chelsea next season.
England gaffer Roy Hodgson will be the competition’s highest-paid boss on £3.5million a year. Russia’s Leonid Slutsky is doing it for free.
Hodgson’s fee even eclipses Spain’s Vincent Del Bosque, who is the only manager to win every major domestic and international trophy.
But even that is not as crazy as Republic of Ireland assistant boss Roy Keane.
He said he “wanted to kill” some of his players after their friendly loss to Belarus.
Swiss boss Vladimir Petkovic, meanwhile, has banned his playing squad from wearing flip flops.
